Tanubhrt.This.Side

There have been so many things said and written about life, so many books, so many people understanding the conscious and the subconscious mind, the this and the that, but I guess those have been attempts to just fight the blankness inside the head. Has it ever struck you, that indeed we first fight to get the blankness out of our head and then also fight back to reach the blankness inside our head. The entire fight is about this.

May be life is boring and we just find out ways to be okay with the boring, find people with whom doing boring things also seems okay or fun, get a job, that although is boring feels okay doing, may be the rush that we talk about is a gift, not everyone gets.

I guess I am just scribbling away some random words while the cooker in my kitchen is shouting to be turned off. Did you ever ask yourself this question, came to my mind, will I be okay if life turns out to be just vanilla? No added flavours, no added preservatives, nothing that could spice it up, just plain vanilla. Will my vanilla, my boring, be okay for me or I would have to run away from it, to in the end just come back to it!

Just thinking, simply thinking, what if I don’t order food from outside, and don’t eat anything from outside, what if I don’t buy any more clothes, or watch any more movies, play any more games on mobile, sadly these things have been occupying my time for last few months. But, what if I don’t do any of it, may be just be with myself, the dark side of myself, or the sad side of myself, the light side of it, will I still be okay?

What if I don’t talk to any tarot card readers, to know if everything will be okay, or not talk to anyone on mobile, will I still be okay? Or will it in turn be necessary to do something, be it cutting off hair, or buying clothes, or eating outside, or talking to some body! Is it important to laugh like an ass and only then can I be okay.

May be this is for me to find out!