Tanubhrt.This.Side

Dear men,

I hope you are doing well, with all of the responsibilities that you have been taking care of since a long time. I know that it is not easy to be a man, to be told from the beginning that you have to take responsibility of the house, that you need to take care of your sister and you need to be the one who has to take all the decisions. Although some brush it under patriarchy and say these are the benefits of being a man, I know it is hard! Not being given a chance to be vulnerable, not having a shoulder to cry on when you are scared or not having anyone who could understand that you are humans as well.

I know our previous generations have failed miserably! They convinced and taught the girls to be strong, to be independent, to do everything yet being sympathetic towards them. But nothing was done to you! No one told you to take it easy, to live a life without having to worry about your ageing parents, more importantly, no one ever taught you how to deal with the strong women that the same generation created.

I understand that you have always been told to take care of your girl, and sadly, although the girls were made strong, no one told you how to deal with such strong women. You have always been told to be the one responsible for taking care of girls! It is a shame, an irony indeed! But the matter of fact is that it is true.

And as a woman of the same generation as yours, I can tell you for sure, that woman still need someone to be there for them, to take care of them, to fight for them, to stand for them, to tell them that they are the most beautiful thing to happen, to love them. The only difference is that the way of asking or the amount of asking has changed.

Women of my generation no longer want you to work extra hard to feed the family, they are now your partner, and all they want is for you to take them as your partner. An equal partner. So don’t tell them that you are working hard to buy this house, or you. are working hard for your children or you will take care of everything. No! Rather, make plans with them, plans about life, together! Let theirs be theirs and yours be yours and you still figure out some money that you spend on building a life together.

Women of my generation will not marry you for your money or your house, they want someone who can make her parents feel as important for you, as yours parents will be for her! And this is not just emotionally, it is also financially. So, if you want your girl to call your parents, make sure you also call up her parents. you also care about health of her parents. After all, you both will be equal partners. If you want your parents to live with you, make sure you ask her to share some of her earnings with her parents too! After all, the cost of medicines will remain same for both of you!

Women of my generation don’t need a man to take care of her like a body guard! No, they don’t want you tag along with them everyplace or tell them to do this or not do that! The small little things matter! So, make sure when she is on her periods you call her up to ask how she is feeling, give her a choclate on those days, cook for her! When she is on her periods, she often gets cranky, make sure you treat her as the princess she is on those days.

Women of my generation do not want you to ask everyday if she had food, rather share with her the new things that you learnt, tell her about your travel experiences, make plans with her. She does not need those expensive gifts that you are thinking, she is strong enough and independent enough to get them for herself. Rather, share with her some funny memes!

Women of my generation might know about technology more than you, may be about cricket than you think she knows, do not deal with her the way you would deal with a 2 year old child! She might already know things and either she would want to know more about it, or have a conversation with you about cricket or politics.

Women of my generation are great decision makers and may be better than you! Do not get overwhelmed by the assertive woman that you find, rather listen to her as well, think of you both as a team, where for the decisions of the house, both the members have an equal say, both are talking sensible, respect her enough to do that!

And for all those mama boys, I know you have lived half your life revolving around your mother and no girl in her right senses would want you to leave your mother, but the least you can do is when she makes any mistakes, which she will because may be things are little different for you, they are hugely entirely different for her! She has to change her house, the same house which was her permanent address for so long, treats her like a guest! The same parents which were hers, behave as if she is a stranger or as if a wall is created. So with that wall and that shut door, when she makes mistakes, be kind to her, even in front of your mother! This is no means you are disrespecting anyone, but by not taking a stand for her, by not being kind to her, by judging her for all the wrong moves she takes, you might stay in your mother’s heart, you will slip away from your wife’s! And once you slip away from her heart, there is never a coming back!

I know its hard to unlearn things, sometimes to learn them as well, but we as women have high hopes with you. Hopes that you will understand us, and behave with us as your equals and share with us the beautiful bond of love!

Amore,

Avantika Tanubhrt