I HATE IT!

Sometimes I just hate myself.
I just hate the ego that is burning in me.
I hate the fact that no matter how much polite I try to be,
this ego thing takes better of me.
I hate this shit attitude of mine.
The one that says I don’t give a damn about you.
I hate the fact that although there are people I love,
I rarely tell them how much I do.
And I hate it because I am too fast to show people
how much I dislike them.
I hate the fact that I still at times miss him.
I hate it that his girlfriend can make me jealous even today.
I hate it that I know that I am nothing for him.
And then I hate myself more, for screwing me.
I hate it that after every tear, there is this inner voice,
that wakes up and says, the story is over.
I don’t care any more.
I hate it that I tend to hide a lot.
I hate those times when I try too hard.
I hate it.
I hate it when I lose.
I hate it when I pull.
I hate those rough times.
And even more I hate this optimism shit going on.
I hate it that no matter how much I say I hate it,
I end up loving myself.
I hate it that no matter how much I cry,
the laugh always gets better of me.
I hate the fact that I always notice the good.
And yes at times I do hate the fact,
that no matter what happens,
I still love myself.