“Mar dala” (killed me)!! O yes! We have all been in this killed me zone. Some got killed by the smile, others with personality, few with dressing sense, others with attitude, some with “the way they talked”, may be some by just the way they were! But then it did happen. We often think whether its love, lust, just a physical attraction or may be something that will last for 2 days! A state of confusion. You see that person and you have that million dollar smile on your face. The heart pumps faster, minds gets into the thoughts of “how am I even looking”? You then see the person coming towards you and the mind goes bizarre, the heart out of control and the body loses senses. Some shiver, some get excited, some lose their mind and some become numb. They cross by you and it’s like “ I am going to sit at this place always”. They by mistake hit you and you are like “thank you”! They come over ask for directions. The mouth says “last room to the left”. And the heart says “come let me take you there”. Rush! Hell yes! There is a rush. Rush of emotions. Rights. Wrongs. Yes. No. Here There. Why. How. IT’S MADNESS.
You start following them. Praying to see them again. Thank god million times if you see them. Go to their face book ids. Get to know who they are. What do they like. Who are their friends? Try to be friends with their friends. Go through their comments. What kind of pictures they liked. What time are they online! Everything. You then talk to the person. As if you don’t know anything about them. Do things for them. Pretend that you don’t care about them. After all the one who made your heart beat faster shouldn’t know about it. We roam around them. We love their company. We listen to them. Any kind of relation is then accepted. No matter its friendship, love or hatred. What matters is whether there is a relation or not.
We talk to our friends about them. Tell them how much we care for them but can’t show publically; else they’ll get to know about the feelings. We write diaries, status. We change profile pictures. The one that they liked becomes our favorite. We do so much. And yet the other person remains unaware!
They have a life too. They move. Talk to new people. Make friends. Real friends. Out of face book/instagram. They share their secrets with others. Make lasting bonds. Help them. Laugh with them. Sit with them. Talk with them. They do. And they are not wrong. After all they don’t know how you feel.
But then YOU know. You feel sad. Cry. Become indifferent to the other person. And they never know why? At times they ask you what happened! But then you still don’t tell the fire within. You say, “get lost”! They may come again. Because after all you did talked! May be little!! This time the fire within is more intense. You say “GET LOST”! They move. Because after all they are not aware of what you feel. They think maybe you have issues with them. They too have a life. They enjoy, you cry. They walk, you crawl. They glow, you become dull. You hate them. But then it’s not their fault. They don’t know what you feel.
You are tensed. Completely screwed. You call your bestie. Bestie says they don’t deserve you! You are like thank you. You get up. Look in the mirror. I have got a better life to be lived. You download songs of Katy Perry, Taylor swift, pink and many more. After all motivation is required. And if the bestie says they don’t deserve you, surely they don’t. You hear those songs. Become like them. Grow. Ignore the person. And move ahead in life.
Years pass by and you think about it all. You are mature now. You know they were not wrong. After all they didn’t know anything. And then all you can do is “huh silly me”!
But then I wonder, why “silly me”?? Why do we even say that after few years? And why didn’t we tell them what we felt about them in the beginning? Why is that the bestie always gets more importance then the heart! I mean just think about it! What if? What if you had told them about whatever you felt? What would they do at max? They will say “I am sorry I don’t feel that way”! or maybe they will make fun of you! Or may be tell their friends? What else? What more? May be they actually say, “I feel the same”. I think we should give it a chance. Don’t you think it’s a 50-50 game?
In figuring out things around me I realized we live in a fear. Yes it is fear. Nothing else. We fear they may not feel the same way. They may make fun of us. They may do this or that. And the most interesting thing about this fear is that it’s higher in women! We girls actually think a lot. We assume as if, if we boldly tell what we feel, the society may think we are bad! Bad girls. So we don’t. We live in fear. Cry in pillows but don’t tell. We adjust!! But WHY? I mean just think about it. I know, we are ourselves not sure of what we feel, about the other person. So what? We can tell them that uncertainty. After all we all need peace. And trust me telling is always better than crying. You get to know exactly what you need to do next! Move on or stick around!!
So I say “BE BOLD, BE FEARLESS”! If you feel something for someone, the first person after you, to know about it should be “they”! STOP CARING, STOP THINKING”. Do what you want to. SAVE YOURSELF. Listen to your heart. SAY IT LOUD. Trust me “no one can even touch you without your consent, forget about destroying”.
Tanubhrt.This.Side 
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